I have come to terms in thinking that God will again bless them and I will be adoringly by their side (whether they like it or not :-D *I love you Kristin*) for every step of their journey. All the stages of grief are like a weight. I know she feels guilt, anger, sadness, and at times peace...sometimes all at once, sometimes separate. I feel I too went through the same stages; I just feel so closely related and my heart feels strongly connected to hers. My baby will always be the age that their first child would be and though that will be a difficult reminder I know how strong Kristin is and how much more her strength will be empowered by Gods strength and love. I pray daily that God soothes their souls and reminds them that though she only held her child in her womb for months, they will forever be parents.
I wrote a poem for her in hopes of bringing a small source of comfort.
For all who have experienced miscarriages, this is also for you....
~~~~~~~~~~
A dark cloud surrounds the soul, finding its way to the hearts beat.
It caresses the deepest part of the broken pieces and blinks in confusion at tragedies descent.
With two heartbeats, one has left, for the reason that God’s arms have reached beyond the gates and asked your child to, “Please come home.”
Like rain pouring down from the heavens your tears quake, your heart feels heavy, and through your pain you barely hear the soft words of your Saviors voice.
“Dear Mother, your baby is safe in my arms. I will wipe away their tears. Its smile I will brighten. Its love I will shower down like the rain. When the sun shines, that is the warmth of their embrace. Please know, you will always be my baby, and your baby will be yours. However I needed your child in their earliest days, because their job on earth was done.”
With a tear stained pillow you lift your head and cry from within, “But Jesus I wasn’t ready, I wasn’t ready to let go so quickly. I have so many questions and so much pain.”
With a sigh like thunder, Jesus responds, he takes you in His arms and whispers.
“Dear Child, you are safe in my arms. I will wipe away your tears. Your smile I will brighten. I will shower you with my love like the rain. When the sun is shining that is the warmth of my embrace. Please know, you will always be my baby and I your Father. However I need you to continue your work on earth, for your job is not yet done.”
With a shallow breath and heavy heart you lift yourself off your bed. You sit in silence waiting to hear just anything to comfort your broken being. As you breathe you feel life; as you touch your abdomen you feel pain.
Nevertheless, as your eyes open you force your soul to break away from the darkness, for the reason that, you are strong. With swollen eyes and only fragments left you look toward heaven and speak:
“Dear Baby, you were safe in my arms. I would have wiped away your tears. Your smile I would have brightened. My love would have showered down on you like the rain. The warmth of the sun would have felt like my embrace. Please know, you will always be my baby and I your Mother. However Jesus needed you now, more than I and your Father.”
With a broken heart and delicate soul you place your hand on your swollen abdomen. With a deep breath you lift up your hands and let your grief soar. With open palms and an open soul you let go of the darkness and let in the light. You breathe, “Dear Lord, here, our baby was yours from the start.”
As your body trembles and your heart breaks once again. You hear the faint voice of your Savior saying:
“Dear Baby,
Daughter.
Mother.
Thank you.
I love you.”
In knowing the creator is helping you pick up the pieces; You stand.
Equipped.
As the silence engulfs you and peace rains down, God takes your hand and you remember;
With Him…
Your strength combined,
Remedies pain.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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