Memories for a Lifetime

I awake to noise outside the bedroom window; as my eyes adjust to the brightness of the room I search for a clock, I can't find one. Standing up I walk over to the window, pulling back the white shear, I see them. My Great Grandparents; they are working in their garden and sweeping the driveway. As a smile widens across my face I suddenly realize I should be helping them. I quickly make my bed and furiously look around for an outfit. Once ready I creep down the steps, my feet forming into the soft carpet with each step increasing my want to just go back to bed.

As I walk into the kitchen I'm not sure what to do. I stand there looking around at all the nicknacks and the two cups of coffee sitting on the counter awaiting to be reheated. My eyes fall on the clock on the microwave, it's not even 8 O'clock. My eyes widen and my feet shuffle across the floor, my mind questions why I am awake and dressed while my body walks to the patio door, not sure how to announce my presence. Gingerly I stand there not sure what to do when after a minute or two I'm noticed. Great Grammy smirks and starts walking towards me. As I open the door for her, Great Pappy notices I am awake and as he walks in behind her he takes me by the arm and starts singing his favorite tune. I smile and listen as always basking in his joy.

I make my way to the kitchen table where a bowl of Apple Jacks and a cup of orange juice awaits me. "Can I get you anything else"? Great Grammy asks, "Are you finished"?  These are the two revolving questions. I respond with "I'm good, thank you". As I take the last bite, pondering a second bowl, the decision is made for me as the bowl is picked up and washed immediately. Great Pappy sits down while Great Grammy heats up his coffee that is hours old. As he opens up his newspaper for the second time that day, he smiles and says "Its about time your up! You know, I've had half a days work done already."

                                                      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Great Pappy went to Heaven this week. I will miss him just as I have missed my Great Grandma since July of 2010. My memories are so vivid and my heart so saddened that I can not make new memories with my Great Grandparents. However, though I cry for the loss of physically seeing and spending time with my Great Pappy, I am happy for him. I'm happy because now he is with his sweetheart in the most beautiful place imaginable. He is healed, he is happy. He is finally Home.

I'll miss you Great Pappy. I love you.

At a loss...

When the pain surfaces and the shock grips your effort to inhale, desperation is evident. Lacking answers and desperate to know “Why?” shakes the very strongest of footholds loose. The loss of a gem is tragic but losing and not understanding is horrific.

My tear stained pillow marks these tortured days and my mind races with (I just want to see your smile, I want to hug you. I wish I would have known your pain.) If I knew I could have leaned in and whispered. “It will be ok.” 

In the storm this is when Jesus reaches down and wipes your tears. When it’s raining this is when your family surrounds you and your carried forthright into the light.

I am ever so grateful for my CVCS family and friends. Never could we have taken another step in these dark days without taking the hand of the person next to us, and whispering …“It will be ok.”

"Jesus replied, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand." John 13:7