I wish I may, I wish I might; Have the wish I wish tonight

As last minute presents are being wrapped; Michael Buble sings in the background. The wonderful Christmas music soothes a tired Mommy from a long day at work however as much as I try to allow it, the music can not stop the nagging to do list that is plaguing my mind. The only relent that I have from my to do list is the only memory I wish would take a break. One that has weighed heavy on my heart all week...


My Pippa.


She is no longer here... I can't buy her her usual Christmas presents (2 cans of wet food and a cat nip toy). I can't wrap it for her; just to open it again. I cant fall asleep with her just to awake every hour unable to hide my child like glee in knowing Christmas is here. I can't wish her a Merry Christmas or smile wide when she recognizes her presents. Running over to me and pawing at my leg once the click of the can awakens her want for her special treat. But mostly....


I can't hold her, I can't watch her and Rylan interact, I can't kiss her. I can't tell her I love her....


My heart aches and I know that a part of it will never be complete again. Because she was my baby, my first baby...Those who do not have pets will not understand this, however as Christmas nears if I could have only one wish, it would be for my first baby, to meet my baby baby....

All I want for Christmas, is just one more Christmas...with you. 

                                            I love you My Pippa, Merry Christmas