Memories for a Lifetime

I awake to noise outside the bedroom window; as my eyes adjust to the brightness of the room I search for a clock, I can't find one. Standing up I walk over to the window, pulling back the white shear, I see them. My Great Grandparents; they are working in their garden and sweeping the driveway. As a smile widens across my face I suddenly realize I should be helping them. I quickly make my bed and furiously look around for an outfit. Once ready I creep down the steps, my feet forming into the soft carpet with each step increasing my want to just go back to bed.

As I walk into the kitchen I'm not sure what to do. I stand there looking around at all the nicknacks and the two cups of coffee sitting on the counter awaiting to be reheated. My eyes fall on the clock on the microwave, it's not even 8 O'clock. My eyes widen and my feet shuffle across the floor, my mind questions why I am awake and dressed while my body walks to the patio door, not sure how to announce my presence. Gingerly I stand there not sure what to do when after a minute or two I'm noticed. Great Grammy smirks and starts walking towards me. As I open the door for her, Great Pappy notices I am awake and as he walks in behind her he takes me by the arm and starts singing his favorite tune. I smile and listen as always basking in his joy.

I make my way to the kitchen table where a bowl of Apple Jacks and a cup of orange juice awaits me. "Can I get you anything else"? Great Grammy asks, "Are you finished"?  These are the two revolving questions. I respond with "I'm good, thank you". As I take the last bite, pondering a second bowl, the decision is made for me as the bowl is picked up and washed immediately. Great Pappy sits down while Great Grammy heats up his coffee that is hours old. As he opens up his newspaper for the second time that day, he smiles and says "Its about time your up! You know, I've had half a days work done already."

                                                      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Great Pappy went to Heaven this week. I will miss him just as I have missed my Great Grandma since July of 2010. My memories are so vivid and my heart so saddened that I can not make new memories with my Great Grandparents. However, though I cry for the loss of physically seeing and spending time with my Great Pappy, I am happy for him. I'm happy because now he is with his sweetheart in the most beautiful place imaginable. He is healed, he is happy. He is finally Home.

I'll miss you Great Pappy. I love you.

At a loss...

When the pain surfaces and the shock grips your effort to inhale, desperation is evident. Lacking answers and desperate to know “Why?” shakes the very strongest of footholds loose. The loss of a gem is tragic but losing and not understanding is horrific.

My tear stained pillow marks these tortured days and my mind races with (I just want to see your smile, I want to hug you. I wish I would have known your pain.) If I knew I could have leaned in and whispered. “It will be ok.” 

In the storm this is when Jesus reaches down and wipes your tears. When it’s raining this is when your family surrounds you and your carried forthright into the light.

I am ever so grateful for my CVCS family and friends. Never could we have taken another step in these dark days without taking the hand of the person next to us, and whispering …“It will be ok.”

"Jesus replied, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand." John 13:7

Mommy, I want more!

Rylan had his four month check up on Monday Jan 16th. He did fantastic! He weighs 15lbs 10oz and is 25 3/4inch long. The doctor is very pleased with his growth and gave us the go ahead to start introducing solid(ish) foods into his diet. So on Jan 17th he tried rice cereal for the first time. At first he wasn't quite sure and on day two of having it again for lunch he still kept spitting it out since he wasn't used to swallowing it. However by day three he opened his mouth when the spoon came to his lips and he smiled with each bite! He cried when it was all done and really didn't want much of his bottle, he wanted more cereal!


On January 25th Rylan rolled over! He has also now had green beans and carrots. He LOVES his carrots! I hope (fingers crossed) that he doesn't just only want carrots all the time, because then I'll have an Oompa Loompa baby :-) 


We will continue to introduce new foods every three days. Starting with all vegetables and then start the yummy sweet fruit which I'm assuming he will want all the time, we will see!

Sometimes you just have to have a Photoshoot

Once upon a time...

It all started with the cute boy in the corner who asked me, "Do you like me"? 

Six months later after getting to know each other at school and over the phone (including a lot of money in phone bills because it was long distance, oops) I said "Here, listen to track 2, you'll know".

 When Kevin came to school the next day and handed me my cd, he looked at me and I at him, I asked "Do you get it"? With a sly smile and a firm "Yes" my heart was hooked for Our Forever. And I knew...I knew, I had found my prince. My hope that the man of my dreams understood me enough to understand....me, became my reality.

January 7th, 2006 was the exact day we sat side by side and decided to start this journey. The journey, of our lives. I was blessed with the most amazing boyfriend who later became my wonderful Husband who then became the most amazing Daddy in the entire world....

I could not have picked anyone better for me. I couldn't. So God did... 

(Thanks, Daddy)

High School ''06

Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012!

My 2011 was pretty fantastic.  It wasn't an easy year at all, however the good things outweighed the struggles. I can't help but feel overwhelmed with joy as I welcomed in the new year with my best friend, family, husband, and baby boy.


I can't believe 2011 is complete! I never thought I would even make it to September! Being pregnant the months seem SO long, but then after you have your baby, you literally blink and four months have gone by. You ask yourself, how did I make it through?  And honestly you can't answer the question. You never can. Because though you remember the difficulty of pregnancy, worries, fears, and delivery; it is such a distant memory that all you can do is live in the present because that is what you have been given. A present.


My present, Mr. Rylan Paul will be four months old next week! I can't believe it! Watching him grow already is amazing. Through all the anxiety, lack of sleep, sore muscles, complete confusion, and the clean then messy house dance my life has been pretty great this year. Yes, tears have been shed, A LOT of them actually, however they got me to these moments...The ones where your crying because your laughing. The smiles, kisses, hugs, and laughs; those are the "worth it" moments....they are my glue.