Sometimes you just have to have a Photoshoot

Once upon a time...

It all started with the cute boy in the corner who asked me, "Do you like me"? 

Six months later after getting to know each other at school and over the phone (including a lot of money in phone bills because it was long distance, oops) I said "Here, listen to track 2, you'll know".

 When Kevin came to school the next day and handed me my cd, he looked at me and I at him, I asked "Do you get it"? With a sly smile and a firm "Yes" my heart was hooked for Our Forever. And I knew...I knew, I had found my prince. My hope that the man of my dreams understood me enough to understand....me, became my reality.

January 7th, 2006 was the exact day we sat side by side and decided to start this journey. The journey, of our lives. I was blessed with the most amazing boyfriend who later became my wonderful Husband who then became the most amazing Daddy in the entire world....

I could not have picked anyone better for me. I couldn't. So God did... 

(Thanks, Daddy)

High School ''06

Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012!

My 2011 was pretty fantastic.  It wasn't an easy year at all, however the good things outweighed the struggles. I can't help but feel overwhelmed with joy as I welcomed in the new year with my best friend, family, husband, and baby boy.


I can't believe 2011 is complete! I never thought I would even make it to September! Being pregnant the months seem SO long, but then after you have your baby, you literally blink and four months have gone by. You ask yourself, how did I make it through?  And honestly you can't answer the question. You never can. Because though you remember the difficulty of pregnancy, worries, fears, and delivery; it is such a distant memory that all you can do is live in the present because that is what you have been given. A present.


My present, Mr. Rylan Paul will be four months old next week! I can't believe it! Watching him grow already is amazing. Through all the anxiety, lack of sleep, sore muscles, complete confusion, and the clean then messy house dance my life has been pretty great this year. Yes, tears have been shed, A LOT of them actually, however they got me to these moments...The ones where your crying because your laughing. The smiles, kisses, hugs, and laughs; those are the "worth it" moments....they are my glue.

I wish I may, I wish I might; Have the wish I wish tonight

As last minute presents are being wrapped; Michael Buble sings in the background. The wonderful Christmas music soothes a tired Mommy from a long day at work however as much as I try to allow it, the music can not stop the nagging to do list that is plaguing my mind. The only relent that I have from my to do list is the only memory I wish would take a break. One that has weighed heavy on my heart all week...


My Pippa.


She is no longer here... I can't buy her her usual Christmas presents (2 cans of wet food and a cat nip toy). I can't wrap it for her; just to open it again. I cant fall asleep with her just to awake every hour unable to hide my child like glee in knowing Christmas is here. I can't wish her a Merry Christmas or smile wide when she recognizes her presents. Running over to me and pawing at my leg once the click of the can awakens her want for her special treat. But mostly....


I can't hold her, I can't watch her and Rylan interact, I can't kiss her. I can't tell her I love her....


My heart aches and I know that a part of it will never be complete again. Because she was my baby, my first baby...Those who do not have pets will not understand this, however as Christmas nears if I could have only one wish, it would be for my first baby, to meet my baby baby....

All I want for Christmas, is just one more Christmas...with you. 

                                            I love you My Pippa, Merry Christmas