In Gods Hands...

I feel so sick and worn out today. I can barely move. I have not been able to keep anything down today and all I tried was a chicken salad and a couple fries. That all came back up and I couldn't stop throwing up for ten minutes. I am so worn out! As a sip some gatorade my stomach is yelling at me. it hurts just as much as the migraine I have been sporting for two days now and the feeling of being so weak I can't get up just causes me more stress, because I have so much to do and so much that is asked of me.

While Rylan is trying to break out, *well it seems like it, he's moving and kicking up a storm in there* my asthma has been giving me some trouble today and I just feel like my body is on shut down mode. It seems to always be like this around the same time every month, but this is reminding me of the early days of my "all day sickness".

 It's like I push myself because I have too and then I just crumble... and have to relent to my body's exhaustion. I am praying that my work understands as I couldn't go in today. As my eyes force close all I can do is pray that God protects my job security, my health, my sons health, and has everything under control. I can only do so much.....my God can do so much more... I trust He has it all in His hands.

Third and hopefully last sonogram!

Our sonogram went well, we got more pictures but they aren't the best due to Rylan not EVER getting off of my placenta, I swear he's just laid on it my entire pregnancy like its his pillow, so since he wont move (lol) we haven't been able to get a great face picture since he's all scrunched up in there, snoozing away on his pillow
:-D

We will not know the results of the sonogram until probably our next baby appointment. It always takes the doctor four days to give us our results which would make us finding out on Saturday. But I assume the doctors office will wait until Monday, however that being the 4th of July puts us with not knowing until we go to our appointment on Tuesday the 5th :-(

We have a lot to do this weekend! We just set up our crib and with the help of my father in law last weekend Rylans room is cleared out and ready to be painted. Mimi and the girls will be over to help paint on Saturday! We actually decided to go with a brighter green since the initial paint color looked more blue than green. I CAN'T WAIT to get everything finished and decorated and put up pictures, time is of the essence!!!

Papa setting up the crib! Can't wait to get rid of those yellow walls!

Oscar is trying to help, he wants to paint!

~Rylan Paul @ 30 weeks 2 days~

 All Scrunched up on his pillow

Chubby cheeks! 

Rylans Feet :-D 
The technician had to take a picture because all he did was kick the monitor!

30 weeks and counting....

I have been so busy with all the changes in life this week, baby appointments, work, get togethers, holidays, birthdays, baby shower plans, and getting Rylans room together: I am exhausted! I didn't even know what week of pregnancy I was in until Facebook reminded me (haha)!

In my exhaustion I am still looking forward to the months to come. I CAN'T wait to hold my son! In letting go of our dear Pippa, our first pet for so many years, I can't imagine the love that will overflow when I am holding my child. I am so excited to watch him grow, (not so much the letting him go part, I don't know how parents do it!)

My baby appointment last week went well, Rylans heartbeat was in the 130s. She couldn't get a clear reading due to the fact little brownie kept kicking the heartbeat monitor! My weight is fluctuating once again and I lost two pounds instead of gaining the two and a half I needed. At my next appointment I am hoping to have gained that loss back at least. My blood work for the glucose testing to see if I have gestational diabetes came back negative and all my lab  work looked great, that's a blessing. Even though you know they have to do certain routine test for every pregnancy you always are on the edge thinking, "well just maybe it  wont be a good result". We are thanking God we can rejoice in those results while we wait for more results...My sonogram is in two days, I can't believe it went by so quickly, I can't wait to see Rylan again!!! My next baby appointment is then the following Tuesday! Time is flying by!!! We are trying to hold on!

Here are two little other reasons I have been so busy and tired these days, they are helping with my loss of Pippa and gripping my heart strings already!

My gorgeous, loving, Magnolia aka Maggie

 Mr. Oscar, my handsome cuddle bug

Saying Goodbye....

~Gone But Not Forgotten~

 The lid to her casket, that my wonderful father in law made for Pippa

Our letters we put with her in her casket.

Letting go our balloons with our messages...

...To heavens gates we let you go...

....No more pain.... 

....Renewed in Jesus arms...

~Forever in our hearts~

My beautiful Pippa.... you're so loved...

 ~Memories~

 She loved her Papa 

 A good sport when monkey put my glasses on her this past New Years Eve :-D

In her favorite spot on the couch, hanging out with T.D.

 In the worst of my "all day sickness" my Pippa was there for me!

Always giving kisses!

Changing Times

This week has been extremely difficult for me. I had to let go of my dearest friend and companion since highschool. 

Due to cancer, my beloved cat Pippa rest in Jesus arms today. I miss her so badly.... You know when you can avoid the hurt so well, that's when you know, the pain just goes so deep...

I have had so many memories with Pippa! She was one of a kind! I honestly think she thought she was human!  Her unconditional love, greetings by the door, cuddles, and kisses are so missed.

My family and I had a burial for her. I am going to blog a bunch of pictures throughout the years of times gone by and will then post pictures of letting her go....

June 20th, will forever be a day of sadness; I just have to remember that my great grandma and Jesus are playing with her now, hugging her, giving her kisses and whispering "I love you's" into her ear; And above all, I have to remember...

~Her pain is no longer...~

Just Salad

Ok.....I did get sick today. I am sad about that but I am very glad that it took almost two weeks until it happened. I have realized that a diet of Salad, unsweetened Ice tea, fruit, water, and sunflower seeds (sometimes a small fry with a southwestern chicken salad w/no dressing from McDonalds, YUMM) is all I can eat without getting sick. I still get nauseous after eating anything but NOT getting sick is all I want right now!

I can't wait for this Wednesday to hear Rylans heartbeat and the following Wednesday to see him when we get our sonogram :-D

Have to keep positive and focus on the little things....